Needing Him Read online

  Needing Him

  (The Heiress, Book 2)

  By:

  Michelle Dare

  Needing Him

  Michelle Dare

  Published by Michelle Dare

  Copyright ©2015 Michelle Dare

  First Edition, ebook - published 2015

  Cover Design by Sommer Stein

  Photography by Sara Eirew

  Interior Design by Riane Holt

  Edited by Ellie at Love N. Books

  All Rights Reserved. In accordance with the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, the scanning, uploading, and electronic sharing of any part of this book without the permission of the publisher or author constitute unlawful piracy and theft of the author’s intellectual property. If you would like to use material from this book (other than for review purposes), prior written permission must be obtained by contacting the author at [email protected]. Thank you for your support of the author’s rights.

  This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, please purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  FBI Anti-Piracy Warning: The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to five years in federal prison and a fine of $250,000.

  All Rights Reserved Worldwide. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without the written permission of the author, except where permitted by law.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

  The use of locations and products throughout this book are done so for storytelling purposes and should in no way be seen as advertisement. Trademark names are used in an editorial fashion, with no intention of infringement of the respective owner’s trademark.

  Michelle Dare

  Email: [email protected]

  Twitter: @michelle_dare

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  Website: http://michelledare.com/

  ~ Table of Contents ~

  ~ 1 ~

  ~ 2 ~

  ~ 3 ~

  ~ 4 ~

  ~ 5 ~

  ~ 6 ~

  ~ 7 ~

  ~ 8 ~

  ~ 9 ~

  ~ 10 ~

  ~ 11 ~

  ~ 12 ~

  ~ 13 ~

  ~ 14 ~

  ~ Acknowledgements ~

  ~ A note from the author… ~

  ~ Other Titles by Michelle Dare ~

  ~ About the Author ~

  ~ 1 ~

  I was frozen in place. Erin called me, but why? She was divorced from a huge oil tycoon because she cheated on him with Radek, my boyfriend. For some reason hearing her voice on the other end of the line caused me to feel like ice had been poured over me. A chill set in and I knew nothing good would come of the call. I needed to breathe. Deep breath in, exhale. Repeat. Talk, Kasi. I needed to find out what she wanted.

  My voice shook when I spoke and that pissed me off. I didn’t want to come off nervous to her, but I couldn’t help it. “Okay, Erin, you have my attention. What do you want?” I could hear Radek in the shower and was hoping he took his time so I could find out what was going on without distraction.

  “Ever since you and Radek have gone public, I’ve been getting a lot of attention. Old wounds have been reopened and I don’t like it one bit.” Her tone was clipped and I didn’t like that one bit.

  “I’m sorry you have been dealing with extra attention, but that’s part of being in the spotlight.”

  “You see, I’ve been left alone. No one bothers me. You two show up in the news and the next thing I know I’m being hounded again. I want it to stop. I want you to break it off with him.”

  My jaw dropped open. Was she fucking serious? Who did that bitch think she was? All of the sudden I went from nervous to full-fledged pissed off. “That’s not going to happen. Don’t call me again.”

  Before I could move the phone from my head to hang up I heard her say, “Your loss.”

  I couldn’t resist but to respond. “How the fuck do you figure it’s my loss?”

  “What I know could have adverse effects on your life.”

  “It’s funny that you think you have sway over me.”

  “Oh, but don’t I? I’m not the one who has been keeping secrets.”

  She baited me and I knew it. I should have hung up, but something in me told me not to. “Stop being an asshole and get to the point.”

  She laughed. Psycho. “I want you to listen to me and listen real good. If you don’t end it with Radek I will make your life a living hell. You think I don’t know who you are Kasi Markson? I know all about you.”

  I wasn’t going to let her threaten me. “Erin, I’m not afraid of you. You know nothing, so back the fuck off.”

  I was trying to act tough, but I knew our circles crossed. I knew about her long before I met Radek. When she cheated on her husband the gossip mill went wild. She had slowly climbed her way back up and had been to the same functions my father and I have. I had never spoken to her though. She had some very influential connections, but was vicious. Cut throat to get what she wanted.

  While I wasn’t one to kiss anyone’s ass, I played nice for my father and his business, not wanting to cause waves. I would never want to do anything to jeopardize his livelihood, and mine for that matter. It wasn’t only myself I had to worry about. Every one of my actions also reflected onto him.

  “I don’t? Hmmm…that’s surprising since I know all about Kai and his band.”

  Kai? What the fuck did she know about him? He was one of my best friends and the lead singer in a hugely popular band called Stars and Lies. We were friends growing up, but I hadn’t seen him in a while.

  The gears in my mind started to turn. Could she be referring to the fact that I used to sleep with him? Big deal. We crossed the friend line, but decided outside of sex we were better off not being in a relationship. There was that one night after one of their shows where we all hung out backstage. I had a drink or two, but didn’t get drunk and well, one thing led to another. I slept with Kai and one of his bandmates, Lee, joined us. I didn’t know how she would have known that though.

  I was tight with all the members of the band. I knew none of them would violate my trust. The fact that she knew I was close with Kai wasn’t a surprise. There were tons of pictures of us together growing up and as adults. She could have been bluffing. Just then a thought occurred to me. Oh my God, what if she knew more? What if she knew what happened after that night? I needed to call the guys. I also needed to calm down. My mind was going crazy jumping to conclusions and maybe she didn’t know what I suspected.

  “I don’t know what you’re getting at, but everyone knows that I’m close with Kai and his band. I really have to get going.”

  “I mean it, Kasi. I have information and I’m prepared to go public with it. How much does Radek really mean to you? How would he feel if he found out what you used to do or who you used to do for that matter? If that’s not enough incentive, how would Radek feel if he knew you were knocked up by your friend?”

  The blood drained from my face. How did she know that? No one knew but Kai, Lee, and myself. No one. I tried to make my
voice sound confident, but knew I would fail. “I wasn’t pregnant, Erin. Not then, not now.”

  “I think I’m done with this conversation,” she said, sounding bored. “You have all of the information you need to make your decision. You need to call things off with him or I will release this. Believe me.” The last few words came out like venom. “You have one week.” Then she hung up.

  I stayed in place, gripping my phone. She could easily spread the pregnancy throughout our circles. I never told anyone. Only Kai and Lee knew. Not my father, not even my best friend. If it got out I could be labeled a whore for having a threesome and not knowing who the father of the baby was and Radek would be drug through the mud for being with me. I didn’t want him to go through that again.

  The room became blurry and the tears that had begun to form in my eyes spilled onto my cheeks. I started to hyperventilate as the enormity of the situation rested on my shoulders. I was sitting on the edge of the bed, bent over, taking deep breaths to calm myself.

  I heard the bathroom door open and froze in place. Radek was in the bathroom and I completely forgot about him being in there when I hung up the phone. Shit. How must I have looked to him?

  His voice was hesitant when he spoke. “Kasi, are you okay?”

  Slowing lifting my head, I stared at the wall in front of me. I wasn’t able to look at him. I was embarrassed of what happened between Kai, Lee, and myself. We used protection, but one of the condoms failed.

  Soft footsteps were heard on the carpet as I dropped my head, not wanting to look him in the eyes. His feet came into view and he hooked his finger under my chin, bringing my gaze up to his. I couldn’t hold back the tears that continued to fall.

  He dropped to his knees and pulled me into his lap. “Baby, what’s going on? Talk to me.”

  I tried, but all that came out were sobs. My body shook as they over took me. I didn’t know how to tell him what had happened. It’s something that I buried so deep inside of me. I didn’t allow myself to think about it. All that would do is bring me back to a depression that was so dark I didn’t want to return to it. I still didn’t know how Erin found out.

  “Whatever it is you can talk to me. Please, Kasi.”

  He moved to hold my hand, but I was tightly gripping my phone in it. Prying it from my fingers, I heard him set it on the nightstand. “Did someone call you?”

  I nodded.

  “Was it your dad? Is he all right?”

  I shook my head. “No, it wasn’t my dad.”

  “Talk to me, baby. Let me help you.”

  I lifted my head from his chest to look into his eyes. We were both too deep in our relationship to keep this to myself. “Erin called me.”

  His eyebrows furrowed and confusion was etched on his handsome face. “Erin Daltin?”

  I nodded.

  “What did she want?”

  Deep breath in, exhale. “She doesn’t like the extra media attention she is getting and wants it to stop.”

  “What does that have to do with us?”

  “More than you know. The media is bothering her because we went public. They are bringing up the past with her like they have with you. Radek…” a sob broke free again before I could continue.

  “Shhh, it’s okay. We’ll deal with it together.”

  “She…she wants us to break up so they will go away. She threatened me.”

  “What? She threatened you?” His voice was hard and I knew he was pissed.

  He gently lifted me and placed me back on the bed. I saw him reach for my phone, but he had it pressed to his ear before I could object. I only heard one side of the conversation since he started pacing, walking away from me once Erin came on the line.

  “No, it’s Radek.”

  “You have no business calling Kasi. You need to stay out of our lives.”

  “She told me enough. We do not rule our relationship around you and your needs, Erin.”

  “What do you mean there is more?”

  “She’s not hiding anything from me.”

  “Yeah, I’ll do that.”

  He hung up and dropped the phone onto the bed next to me. His eyes were fixed on mine and I started to cower under his gaze. I’m a very confident person, but in that moment I wanted to crawl under the covers and not come out.

  We only had an hour until we had to leave for the airport and we still had to pack. Do I tell him now or wait until we were home? My dad had just married for the second time and we were staying at his house in Kansas.

  “Kasi, what was she talking about?” I guess I needed to tell him now.

  “I know there is a lot we still don’t know about each other and this is one of those things. What I’m going to tell you is something I don’t talk about. Ever. It’s something that not even my father or family know.”

  He nodded and took a seat next to me on the bed. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. He had a very neutral look on his face, but his body was more relaxed.

  “Have you ever heard of Kai Sabata?”

  “Yeah, he’s the lead singer of Stars and Lies.”

  “Yes. He’s also a close friend. I’ve known him since my freshman year in high school. We became fast friends and have stayed that way through the years. Six years ago I was at a show of theirs, hanging out backstage with Kai and his drummer, Lee. We had a few drinks and fooled around.”

  “Fooled around as in made out or fooled around as in slept together?”

  I didn’t know if that was something that once he found out he would want to stay with me, but I had to tell him. “Slept together. Kai and I were never more than friends who fooled around on occasion. I wasn’t one for relationships before I met you. Kai would fly into the area for one reason or another and we would have one great night. I wouldn’t see him for months after that.”

  His jaw clenched at my words. I knew that would bother him, but it wasn’t the biggest bomb I was going to drop. “When was the last time you slept with him?”

  “A year ago. That was the last time I saw him.”

  “Okay, continue.”

  “I slept with them both and before you ask that was the first and only time I was with two men at once. We used protection, but one of the condoms failed. I ended up pregnant.”

  Radek’s eyes squeezed shut and he laid back on the bed. He threw his arms over his face, completely covering it. The tears that I had managed to keep at bay began to fall again. I was losing him, I knew it, but I had to continue. He needed to know everything if we were going to move forward at all.

  My voice was barely above a whisper when I started to speak again. “The three of us went to the doctor and were told our options. I wasn’t going to make a decision without either of them since I wasn’t sure whose baby it was. They stood beside me, being supportive every step of the way.”

  “Kasi, please don’t say you have a daughter and never bothered to tell me.”

  I was sobbing again. Full on gasping for air, couldn’t see due to the tears, sobbing. I felt Radek’s strong arms wrap around my body. He placed a kiss on my head and I clutched to him like it was the last time he would hold me. When I began to speak again it was against his chest. I didn’t it have it in me to lift my head. The next part was what broke me years ago. The part I never quite recovered from.

  I ignored his statement and started where I left off. “We made a decision to go ahead with the pregnancy. I didn’t want to have an abortion. Kai and Lee agreed. It was decided that we would find out who the father was once the baby was born. Only we never got that far.

  “Everything had been going well. We planned on announcing the news after the first trimester had safely passed. The baby was growing and developing on schedule. One night, when I was around twelve weeks along, I was sleeping and awoke in terrible pain. Luckily, Kai was in town. I called him, he rushed over, and immediately brought me to the hospital.” I pressed closer to Radek, needing to feel his warmth.

  “So no, I don’t have a daughter somewhere with Kai or
Lee, but I do have an angel looking over me, or I would like to think so. I won’t go into details. It’s something I don’t want to relive. I lost my baby and a piece of my heart that night. I was depressed for a long time afterward. Kai and Lee would stop by and visit when they could, but that was around the same time that their band was taking off and they were in demand. They both wanted to put the band on the back burner for a bit to stay with me, but I wouldn’t let them. I leaned a lot on my best friend, Anna, but I could never tell her what happened. She only knew I was depressed and along with a doctor and some medication, helped me through it.

  “It was bad, Radek. Even going through all of that with Kai, we were never in a relationship. We determined that we would co-parent, or Lee would, whoever the father was. Now, Erin is threatening to go public with all of this and it would destroy me. What would my father or family think of me? You could end up front page news again for being with me. I don’t want that. This is a mess and I don’t know what to do.”

  “Kasi, I don’t completely understand why you don’t want anyone to know.”

  “Do you remember how you felt when the world found out about you and Erin? They criticized you for breaking up a marriage. You were drug through the mud over and over again. Then years later you meet me and low and behold, more mud.”

  “Yeah, that was awful.”

  “Right. Now imagine the darkest, deepest depression. The bottom of a pit you can’t crawl out of, but somehow, by some miracle you do. I was able to move on after losing my child, but I never want to be in that pit again. If the media got ahold of it I would live it again every day. The agony, the heartache, all over again.”

  “I’m sure everyone would understand. They would be sympathetic to you. You went through a lot.”

  “I don’t want their pity. I just want to go on with my life and keep this part of myself tucked away from the world.” More tears fell and I couldn’t stop them.

  ~ 2 ~